We all know how important teenage friendships are for them. If you have a teenager at home you may notice how much time they spend talking to friends or going on social media. At times, it can seem like friends are all your teen cares about. Things that used to feel important like school or family time seem left behind.
For other teenagers, you may notice them being more withdrawn or shy or just avoidant of situations where other teens will be around. You want so much for them to connect to their peers. It seems every time you bring it up, you just get, “leave me alone,” or “I’m fine.”
The truth is, it is common for the teenage years to be filled with intense feelings, pressure, and stress.
As a parent, it can be difficult to navigate your role during this time. Especially when it comes to your teen’s social world. Just as teenagers are changing from children to young adults, your role as a parent is also changing.
During adolescence, a big part of a teenager’s identity comes from their social relationships. Having friends gives teens a sense of acceptance and belonging. Friendships can help a teen receive the message “I’m good enough.”
If a teenager feels liked, supported, and accepted by friends, this can help provide a sense of security and self-worth.
Friendships give teens the message that it’s ok to be who they are and enjoy the things they enjoy. Oftentimes, we see teen friends dress similarly, talk the same way, and be interested in the same things. This can help instill that feeling of belonging and being around people who understand them.
Of course, friendships are not always easy for teens. Because of how important it is for teens to feel they belong, feeling criticised or not supported by friends can feel devastating for teens. This can lead teens to avoid expressing how they really feel or doing things they fear will be undesirable to their friend group. You may notice your teen trying too hard to fit in with their friends.
Another important part of a teenager’s development, is learning that they can face difficult issues. Friendships are a common source of these issues for a teenager.
As a parent, you may be able to tell when something is not going right with your teen’s social life, but as soon as you ask about it, you get shut down or one-word answers.
One thing to keep in mind is that teen’s often keep things to themselves when they fear that their parents will take over the situation. If your teen describing an issue with a friend will lead to you saying things like, “here’s what you should do…” or, “that is not a good friend for you…” your teen will be more likely to keep things private.