Anger is one such negative feeling which destroys many things including health (physical/mental), damages relationship, worklife and so on.
Wrath, fury, rage whatever you call it, anger is a powerful emotion. Unfortunately, it’s often an unhelpful one.
Anger is a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get mad like feeling hurt by something someone said or did or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. But uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health.
Fortunately, there are tools you can learn to help you keep your anger in check.
Understanding anger
Anger can take different forms. Some people feel angry much of the time or can’t stop dwelling on an event that made them mad. Others get angry less often, but when they do it comes out as explosive bouts of rage.
Whatever shape it takes, uncontrolled anger can negatively affect physical health and emotional wellbeing. Research shows that anger and hostility can increase people’s chances of developing coronary heart disease, and lead to worse outcomes in people who already have heart disease. Anger can also lead to stress-related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches.
Anger can also contribute to violent and risky behavior’s, including drug and alcohol use. And on top of all that, anger can significantly damage relationships with family, friends and colleagues.
Strategies to keep anger in control
Anger can be caused by internal and external events. You might feel mad at a person, an entity like the company you work for, or an event like a traffic jam or a political election. Wherever the feelings come from, you don’t have to let your anger get the better of you. Here are some techniques to help you stay calm.
Check yourself.
It’s hard to make smart choices when you are in the grips of a powerful negative emotion. When you are sitting simply list down the situations, people who triggers your aggression. Also write down the reactions you show on them. For example you use bad words when your shirts are not ironed or you may yell at your wife for losing important documents.
Now write down how you should respond to these situations.
It depends on your anger level. If you cannot control, then you should try some anger management techniques such as count backwords, or leave the place immediately(before you could yell at someone)
Don’t dwell
Some people have a tendency to keep rehashing the incident that made them mad. That’s an unproductive strategy, especially if you have already resolved the issue that angered you in the first place. Instead, try to let go of the past incident. One way to do that is to focus instead on things you appreciate about the person or the situation that made you angry.
Change the way you think
When you are angry, it’s easy to feel like things are worse than they really are. Through a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace unhelpful negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined,” for example, tell yourself “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.”
Try these strategies to reframe your thinking
Avoid words like “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or others. Statements like “This never works” or “You are always forgetting things” make you feel your anger is justified. Such statements also alienate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.Use logic. Even when it’s justified, anger can quickly become irrational. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you. Do this each time you start feeling angry, and you will get a more balanced perspective.Translate expectations into desires. Angry people tend to demand things, whether it’s fairness, appreciation, agreement or willingness to do things their way. Try to change your demands into requests. And if things don’t go your way, try not to let your disappointment turn into anger.
Relax
Simple relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help soothe angry feelings. If you practice one or more of these strategies often, it will be easier to apply them when angry feelings strike.
Use imagery
Visualise a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination.
Imagine your agressive situations and replace the reactions with the responses. Instead of hitting on the wall for your coworkers mistake,you imagine talking to them and explaining how they could have worked.
Otherwise if you are angry use imagery to imagine peaceful event that makes you calm and relaxed.
Improve your communication skills
People often jump to conclusions when they are angry, and they can say the first (often unkind) thing that pops into their heads. Try to stop and listen before reacting. Then take time to think carefully about how you want to reply. If you need to step away to cool down before continuing the conversation, make a promise to come back later to finish the discussion.
Get active
Regular physical exercise can help you decompress, burn off extra tension and reduce stress that can fuel angry outbursts.
Recognise (and avoid) your triggers
Give some thought to the things that make you mad. If you know you always get angry driving downtown at rush hour, take the bus or try to adjust your schedule to make the trip at a less busy time. If you always argue with your spouse at night, avoid bringing up contentious topics when you’re both tired.
You can’t completely eliminate angry feelings. But you can make changes to the way those events affect you, and the ways in which you respond. By making the effort to keep your anger in check, you and the people close to you will be happier for the long run.