Tara always complained about her husband saying he never loved her. “His priorities are just work and friends. He never comes home on time or rarely takes me out which is frustrating me a lot.”
On the other side of the coin Praveen (Tara’s husband) affirms that he provides everything his wife could ask for. He is just working hard thinking about their future and having some ‘ME’ time with his friends.
When you look at this case, it seems both are right in their point of view, isn’t it?. Exactly in almost every relationships this is the common point where couple misunderstand that the other partner is not loving them enough. However, there is something called as love languages which plays a major role to understand your partner.
So what are these love languages and why it is important in a relationship?
We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, Quality time, and Physical touch. These are called five ‘love’ languages.
In the above case mentioned Tara’s love language is firmly spending quality time, where as Praveen is literally fulfilling her needs (act of service) which both could fail to understand. Both the partners feel love and care but their way of showcasing it is different.
The five languages play a major role in every relationship. Sadly all can not provide or recive all the five love languages but definitely if they understand their partner’s major love language it is easy for them to stay and nourish their relationship.
Words of affirmation
When words of affirmation is your love language, words build you up. You thrive on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism can bother you for a long time.
Acts of service
Anything that your partner does willingly to ease your workload is a sign of love to you. You feel cared for when your partner vacuums before you get to it or makes you breakfast as a surprise. On the other hand, broken promises or laziness can make you feel unimportant.
Receiving gifts
When you speak this love language, a thoughtful gift shows to you that you are special. In contrast, generic gifts and forgotten special events have the opposite effect. This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic. It could be as simple as receiving your favourite snack after a bad day.
Quality time
To you, nothing says you’re loved like undivided attention. When your partner is truly present (and not looking at their phone), it makes you feel important. Failure to actively listen or long periods without one-on-one time can make you feel unloved.
Physical touch
Holding hands, kisses, hugs, and other touches are your preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety, while physical neglect can drive a conflict between you and your partner.
It is obvious that all the time partners cannot keep up this love languages, but it is also true that one can show/ express these love languages so that your relationship blossoms like a flower.