The age old thought: A woman is the happiest the day she becomes a mother! Do we really? A woman after going through the whole process of painful childbirth can’t even express her real pain physical and mental) and is forced to pretend to be happy and everything’s perfect. Why are new mothers expected to be just happy? Is it that no other emotion is allowed to be felt ?
In fact, most women are overwhelmed with pain grief, lack of sleep, fear of not knowing what to expect (as each pregnancy is very different from the other) and yet she is “suppose to be happy”.
Only in recent times it Is grudgingly accepted that woman experience post partum depression. About 20 years back it was known that woman “had gone cuckoo”. Now research shows that a woman’s body takes upto 7 years to recover from post partum which was initially assumed to be 2 years.
Once a woman becomes a mother may be it takes 7 years physically to recover but mentally it takes forever. Let’s talk about what a new young mother goes through. Sleepless nights, feeding schedule, changing schedule and only few getting some help but most woman with no help find it extremely difficult to cope but aren’t allowed to express their unhappiness!
Why is the societal norm for a woman to express mandatory joy and happiness even though she is going through a life altering situation. Why anything less isn’t accepted?
The whole guilt trip a woman is made to go through the entire motherhood, the day she decides to go to work or a day she decides to go on a vacation on her own, why is a woman made to feel less about herself and is forced to be unhappy?
A woman needs to be constantly hassled and worried about the household chores, children, child’s school child’s extra-curricular activities and then manage the work-home balance and only if she juggles all these things, is she told that she is perfect! In the process the mother struggles and is unhappy.
When do we understand that only when a woman is happy will the mother in her be happy!! And when the mother in her is happy will the child be happy. We as a society need to question ourselves as to why we are still not allowing woman to be themselves and stop forcing our expectations on them. Is raising child only the mother’s responsibility? Food for thought!