The 90-second rule is a technique that can help build self-control by acknowledging and managing intense emotions, effectively. The concept behind this rule is that emotions typically last for about 90 seconds, and if you can tolerate them for that duration without acting on them impulsively, they will naturally dissipate. Here’s how you can apply the 90-second rule to build self-control:
Awareness: Pay attention to your emotions and become aware of how they manifest in your body. Notice the physical sensations associated with different emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety.
Pause: When you experience an intense emotion, take a pause before reacting. This pause allows you to create some space between the emotion and your response. Instead of immediately acting on the emotion, give yourself a moment to breathe and acknowledge what you’re feeling.
Acceptance: Accept the presence of the emotion without judgment. Recognise that it’s a normal human experience to have different emotions, and it’s okay to feel them. Avoid labeling emotions as good or bad and simply observe them.
Ride the wave: Rather than trying to suppress or push away the emotion, allow yourself to fully experience it. Remind yourself that emotions are temporary and that they will naturally pass if you give them some time. Visualise yourself riding a wave, knowing that it will eventually subside.
Redirect your focus: While experiencing the emotion, redirect your attention to something that can help you regain control. You can focus on your breath, engage in a calming activity, or practice mindfulness techniques. Shifting your focus away from the intensity of the emotion can help you regain a sense of calm.
By following these steps, you can train yourself to tolerate intense emotions and avoid impulsive reactions. Over time, this practice can help you develop self-control and make more deliberate choices, rather than being driven solely by your emotions. Remember that building self-control is a gradual process, so be patient and kind to yourself as you practice the 90-second rule.